"I Want to Work for Diddy" recap (1.03): "Truth in Advertising"

  
Our new favorite bundle of crazy, Deon

Chock-filled with globetrotting, bad advertising, and transgendered drama queens, this episode of the Sean John™ Marketing Hour has everything that you could want from your summer reality fix, including a nice little introduction to our thus-far largely ignored Resident of the Earth Deon. 

After the untimely departure of a certain directionally-challenged cast member, our resident Frat Pack on the uptown team, Mike and Boris, seem to have a lot of time on their hands, ruining our Resident of the Earth’s afternoon nap by making the brilliant decision to stick a pretzel stick in his open mouth.  That’s “comedy“, for those of you not keeping track. 

Hilarity didn’t ensue, but a lot of cursing did, as Deon informed us all via confessional that he was ready to “f****** kill somebody” and leaving us to assume that the “works well with others” box on his application for the assistant position was left unchecked.    

Words of wisdom from Diddy

Soon after, the the assistant wannabes are given notification via their Verizon Wireless™ Blackberry phones that two members from each team are to pack a bag and leave the loft for an unknown destination. 

Kim and Suzanne are paired on the uptown team, Boris and our very own fierce transgender woman Laverne Cox for the downtown team.  The team soon finds out they’re going to Paris, leaving Ms. Cox to compare herself to one Carrie Bradshaw, except, you know, Black and transsexual.  The Verizon Wireless™ graphic tells us that the assignment is to find a model in Paris and convince her to come back to NYC to be featured in an advertisement for Sean John™ Eyewear.

Read more after the break!

The rationale for this is explained by Diddy himself in one of those um, interesting interludes where he talks, literally and without a hint of irony, from an ivory tower (well, penthouse, but you get the idea).

Words of wisdom from Kendra

Not even a different country can change the chronic lack of direction that seems to curse the Uptown team, as they get lost en route to the model‘s location.  Boris, Laverne, and Boris’ thinly veiled contempt for Laverne also scour the streets of Paris, looking for their model.  

Back at the loft, the remaining teammates are given the task of picking out clothes and accessories for the model, and generating a tagline for their ad.  Resident of the Earth Deon has some ideas, but Kendra has a tagline of her own, “wack”, and uses it to shoot down all of his suggestions.  Boris and Mike take note: that is comedy. 

This leads Deon to give another bizarre rant in the confessional booth about the skills he‘s stealthily managed to keep secret thus far.  Apparently these skills are the most well kept secret on the show so far.  After all, he's managed to keep them from his teammates, the producers, the director, the crew members, and anyone watching the show.  It's all about strategy, folks.  

After a great deal of broken French and bad direction, both teams finally find their models.  Black Transgender Carrie Bradshaw rolls her eyes as Boris flirts, and Kim is on her best behavior as she coaxes the model on the flight to NYC.  Now that models, clothes, and Sean John™ eyewear have been secured, it’s time to shoot the ad!

Downtown decides to shoot on the Bad Boy Entertainment roof, and the ever-so fashionable Ms. Cox decides to take point with arranging the model while Mike helps the photographer direct the shoot.  Boris drools over the model and Deon holds a light.  Meanwhile, uptown decides to take the shoot outside, and Kim, who never met a situation she doesn’t dominate, irks her teammates and the photographer by overstepping her bounds during the shoot. 

With the shoot done and the ads designed, it’s off to Bad Boy Entertainment where super-fierce judge Capricorn will judge the finished ads.      

Downtown team's ad on the left, Uptown's on the right

Capricorn and the Sean John™ V.P. of marketing provide us with some technical ad industry babble about colors and logos, managing to bring poor Stephanie from Downtown to tears with their assault on her tagline (bonus points to anyone who can explain “see yourself”).  Uptown’s ad is deemed superior, finally bringing a win to the beleaguered team, and an immediate look of panic to the Downtown team, who will be facing elimination for the first time.

The agony of defeat

Back at the loft, Black Transgender Carrie Bradshaw is as distraught as the real Carrie Bradshaw after her 538th breakup with Mr. Big.  Our favorite fabulous transgender woman takes the loss very personally and is seen crying on her bed.  During a confessional (and in an uncharacteristic moment of real truth for the show), she confesses to feeling at risk due to her teammates’ discomfort with her status as a transgendered woman.  Without getting all Afterschool Special, lets just say that this is an emotion that has been felt by all of us at some point, but Laverne handles it like a true reality television trooper, putting on a brave face (and subdued makeup), going into elimination, and thinking about who should go home that is not named Laverne Cox.

Next up: Elimination Smackdown

During elimination, we find out that one of Resident of the Earth Deon’s secret skills is at least one year of experience working in the outdoor advertising industry, leaving his teammates and the judges to correctly surmise that perhaps making that experience a little more known may have led to greater success during the challenge. 

Deon then makes the expert move of arguing with Capricorn, the Director of Marketing for Sean John™ about the quality of the ad in question.  There’s that strategy again.  However, the team decides to roll over on Boris, who they chide for being lazy and not contributing his fair share.  Boris decides to bring Deon up for elimination, and our favorite Resident of the Earth unleashes a litany of defensive four-letter words so thorough that anyone who literally couldn’t see the action may think that they’re in the middle of one of those National Emergency Broadcast Tests with the unending beep. 

In the judges’ eyes, Boris’ perceived laziness is no match for Deon’s demonstrated lack of professionalism, and Deon is escorted out by those burly bodyguards we’ve all come to fear, respect, and secretly desire.  

Another one bites the dust...

Behind the scenes:  Guys, I was gone.  I know what you know.  I will share my very limited interaction with Deon.  On one of the first days of the shoot, I was in my social, chatty “getting to know you” mode, and I sat next to the Resident of the Earth on the couch and asked him about his career path and what brought him to the competition.  He responded by saying that he had “already been interviewed” and stalked into his room, leaving Brianna and I to wonder exactly what had just happened. 

While I did find that a bit odd at the time, I now see that it was all a part of the strategy and wonder how I could have been so foolish to have not seen it in the first place.  Silly, silly me.  

Note:  Continued thanks to Rich Juzwiak over at the VH1Blog for these screencaps.  All ideas, snarky comments, and bad puns are my own.